don’t use your real name or occupation at the bar

Next time I want a beer at the bar, my name is Elmer and I work for Johnny on the Spot sucking faeces for a living. And in my free time, I like to shovel cow and horse faeces in the pasture and sell it as garden fertilizer. I’m sick of people thinking I am some kind of smart guy and telling me their theory of the universe. Some screwed up faeces these people tell me. Perhaps if I tell them I am a shit farmer, they will simply go away.

Lesson learned. Drugs are bad. ALL OF THEM. If someone needs a dissertation, perhaps they can discover how some of these people get through everyday life.

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